--> divine angst: September 2004

Thursday, September 30, 2004

LawMom writes about Banned Book Week.

In honor of fine literature everywhere, go read a banned book. Some that I'll recommend:
  1. The Catcher in the Rye (the classic banned book)

  2. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

  3. Anything by Judy Blume, if you like young adolescent fiction, which I do. Her books appear on the most challenged books list yearly, and she is one of the most challenged authors. I particularly like Iggie's House, Blubber, and Tiger Eyes.

  4. A Wrinkle in Time, which I can only imagine was challenged because it suggests that there may be life elsewhere in our universe, and does not attribute creation to God? Fact is, Madeline L'Engle is a remarkable author who, like C. S. Lewis, imbues her work with good old-fashioned Christian morality without coming out heavy-handed-ly and shoving it down the reader's throats. In the last book in the series begun by Wrinkle, titled A Swiftly Tilting Planet, the entire Murray family sings dona nobis pacem around the Thanksgiving dinner table, while they pray for peace.

  5. Any book with frank discussion of adolescent physical changes. This would include number 2, above, as well as the What's Happening to my Body? books.

  6. To Kill a Mockingbird, which I imagine is on the list because of its use of a particular ethnic slur. (Huckleberry Finn is on the list for that reason, too.)


Note a theme? Young adults, adolescents, children, are the ones whose literature is most affected by book challenges. Adults have the freedom to choose what to read and what to ignore, and the freedom to be as closed-minded as they wish. But children—children have such a small voice in these matters. Bless the American Library Association for recognizing that all books are worthy of being on library shelves, even those that parents may object to for ridiculous reasons.

Monday, September 27, 2004

last minute preparations

Today I panicked and realized that I did not have a timer I could use for the LSAT—the one I've been using for study is my kitchen timer that has a very loud beep.

$32 later (32 DOLLARS?? Unbelievable!!) I have The Silent Timer. Now I have to get used to it. I certainly has several features I won't be using, notably the "push the red button after you've answered each question" thing, allowing you to track how many questions you've answered and how many you have left. That's assuming you take the time at the beginning of the section to see how many total questions there are and plug it in. Mrph...that's funny. Almost as funny as expecting me to push the red button after answering each question.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

short "hiatus"

Since I sit for the LSAT in less than a week, and since my friendly writing and editing prof really wants to meet with me soon (like last week, so I'm seriously overdue) don't expect much from me this week.

I'll post my LSAT impressions on Saturday, sometime, since I fully expect that I'll go from the test to either 1) the remainder of [Big Unnamed State] University's football game (which starts at 11:30, damn them, rendering worthless my $55 ticket which I probably can't even scalp for face value due to the opponent), or 2) the remainder of my friends' tailgate party.

In either case, I will drink (somewhat) liberally, if only because it will be OVER. I'm looking forward to having the test behind me so that I can begin to concentrate on applications and my personal essay. No matter how much I say I've been working on it, I haven't really been able to look past the damn standarized test. I think once I've taken it and the results are out of my hands, I'll have a little more impetus to work on the rest of that law school stuff.

Meanwhile, if you have Payton Manning on your FF team, you are a lucky bitch/bastard. That's all I have to say about that.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Mildly shocking

In today's Straight Dope column, Cecil Adams writes two things I don't thing I've ever read from him before: a small bit of profanity (mild: "son of a bitch") and a psuedo-extreme sexual reference ("Does he give great head?").

It was the latter, which comes first in the column, actually, that caused my jaw to drop open. I know that The Straight Dope is published in lots of papers—mostly of the free, alternative variety—but still, it's published in many papers. The phrase "give great head" is not one I ever would expect to see in a newspaper of any stripe.

I'm not saying I'm offended—in fact, I think it's hilarious, particularly in the context of the response (yet another reason to eschew vegetarianism, particularly the vegan variety)—I'm just a little astounded.

There's your thought for the day.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

seriously, these internet quizzes are spooky

I'm Dogbert!


Dogbert's not-so-secret ambition is to conquer the world and enslave all humans. He anointed himself St. Dogbert, and as such takes special delight in exorcising the demons of stupidity.

Which Dilbert character are you?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

glargh!

Gmail is still pestering me with invites. If you don't already have Gmail (and if you don't, what rock have you been under? Unless, of course, you think Gmail is too creepy.) please, please, PLEASE take them away from me.

Oh, and if you're going to ask for an invite from me, please have the courtesy to use it. Seriously, I want to get rid of them, and when I send you one and you let it expire, well, that's just rude.

Bitter? Rich?

Last night I went to study for the LSAT at one of my favorite watering holes—I was hungry and they have good pub food, and I also really wanted a beer.

So there I was, on the patio, drinking my beer and munching on my chicken strips, slogging through Kaplan's LSAT 180. The table next to me was populated by two guys having a drink together, and I didn't even notice them until one of them got up to leave and said something about having a mediation today. Ah, I thought, lawyers having happy hour.

The next thing I know, the remaining fellow intones over my shoulder, "Don't do it." I turn to look, and he's got a sort of wistful smirk on his face. He says it again, "Don't do it."

Continuing, "We noticed as soon as you pulled out your books. We're both 10-year litigators, and we're already bitter. Don't do it."

I said, "Oh, I want nothing to do with a courtroom. I just want to teach."

He replied, "Just watch out. We're bitter. We have lots of money, but we're bitter."

What I can't figure out is why anyone would go through the hassle of three years of law school, BarBri, junior associateship, and thousands in student loans if they don't actually want to do what they are doing. Or, rather, I get it, but I don't know that I appreciate the bitter species intruding on my happy (perhaps delusional) desire to teach lawyers to write better.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

one of THOSE weeks

I'm having difficulty remembering what day of the week it is. This does not bode well for my productivity.

I may have topped out

Another practice LSAT and, despite actually finishing the games section, I didn't get any more questions right and pulled off the same exact score as my last practice LSAT.

I keep reminding myself that this particular score is a GOOD score, that it will get me into many schools, if not the schools I most want to get into. I keep reminding myself that I have a good GPA that will help, and my personal statement will be stellar. I am, in other words, pumping myself up. I worry that I may be setting myself up for a fall, in fact.

So in the back my mind, I remind myself that if I get into a school that is not at the top of my list, I can always attempt to transfer.

It's hard to have grand ambitions that will be at least slightly thwarted by not attending one of my top choice schools. I am optimistic, but I am also trying very hard to be realistic.

Monday, September 20, 2004

reviews

I'm not generally very good at reviews, but I recently enjoyed two movies and a novel that I'll share some general comments on.

First—and I admit it's a little out of date, but I didn't really make it out for the summer movie season—we rented 50 First Dates this weekend. I should preface by saying that, in general, I can only take so much Adam Sandler. He's funny and endearing and all that, but often the humor gets to be a little too much. Still, this was a cute movie—a good rental, in fact. Sweet and charming, and there were some damn funny lines, one in particular delivered perfectly by Dan Ackroyd. (Who is another comedian I can usually only take so much of. Thank goodness he seems lately to be restricting himself to small, juicy roles.)

Second movie: Hero. We saw this last night at the local have-dinner-while-you-watch-the-movie movie theater. (We had some free tickets and a buy-one-get-one free dinner coupon. A cheap evening!) OK, I like kung fu movies. I loved Crouching Tiger. I don't really have an opinion on Jet Li, but he's certainly talented. My one beef with this film was that it seemed like a flim version of a story that might have been recounted by one of the main characters in Crouching Tiger. (Or, even, with a stretch, Kill Bill.) It hardly seemed worth a whole movie. Very symbolic throughout, though, with some beautiful cinematography. I'm glad we didn't pay regular movie prices for it, but it was nice to see on the big screen.

Lastly, the novel: The Time-Traveler's Wife. I am only 3/4 of the way through this book and I already have the feeling that I may cry at the end. I have a sinking suspicion that, while it may not have an unhappy ending, it probably won't end with sweetness and light. But it's marvelous, nonetheless. The writing is really excellent, particularly the author's use of dialog. I am eating the book up, far too quickly, really, since I just started it Saturday afternoon, and I wish I weren't almost done with it. I'll probably reread it.

So there are my opinions on three things, and, if you think about it, a brief recap of my weekend.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

The end is in sight

My meeting to go over my personal statement went swimmingly. My prof thought what I'd written was "300% better than the others." It has nice structure, some lovely sentences, and lacks commentary on two or three things. (I expected to be told it was missing certain elements. But I didn't want to keep writing and writing and writing unless I knew it was going in the right direction. My writing confidence needs a boost, I guess.)

The meeting went so well that the discussion of my statement lasted only about 15 minutes. Maybe that's not good, now that I think about it—it probably indicates there wasn't anything substantial enough to work on yesterday. In any case, I have a draft to work on, instead of trying to start something new again. Whew!

After we'd discussed my statement, the appointment devolved into my giving him some computer advice. We discussed fonts, putting pictures in Word effectively, and a number of other tidbits. Sometimes I think this particular professor likes me because I help him with his iMac.

At any rate, my mood—which for most of last week was wretched—is dramatically improved. I slept the good sleep last night, and I'd been missing that. Something must be going right for me.

Friday, September 17, 2004

free stuff!

A friend of mine who works for a spa just called me and asked if I wanted to "model" for a salt scrub and massage next week. They just hired a new masseuse and she needs to train on spa procedures.

Hella yeah, I want free spa stuff! Are you kidding? I was just thinking to myself that I needed to take some birthday money and go splurge on a massage. Now I don't have to.
My angst right now is not divine at all.

I am meeting with my writing prof (who is helping me edit my personal statement) in less than four hours. I currently am in love with what I've written; I can see some of its weak points, but mostly, it's pretty good.

I am petrified, however, that he will hate it. Or think it's wrong for law school, or think it's wrong for me, or something equally awful.

Yargh! I need to get some work done, and I can't really concentrate at all since I'm so worried about this meeting this afternoon. Oh, and I spent the morning reinstalling my system software because for some reason Firefox stopped opening. And Mozilla. And Netscape. You know, all the good third-party browsers.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

OK

I reread the statement again, after thinking last night that it dwelled too much on "this" or "that." After all, my other statements seemed great when I wrote them, but on revisiting were just wretched.

But, no—it's still something I'm proud to have written. Sure, it needs some good old-fashioned editing, but it's essentially the statement I wanted to write. I'm proud of it.

Whew! What a relief!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

the time wasn't right

I sat down last night and started a new draft of a new personal statement.

This time, I think I got it right.

As a sign that I wasn't meant to write it before now, the first sentence that appeared on my screen related to something that happened to me last weekend.

Finally, finally, I have gotten past the need to explain myself, to almost apologize for not "getting it" until now. And I found the words to express what's really been going on in my overheated brain. I even found a structure that works really well for what I'm trying to say.

In other words, I'm glad I walked away from the damn thing for close to a month. It helped. Of course, this is a lesson I've learned a million times before: walk away from your writing when you can't see it clearly anymore. Distance=perspective.

I think this is going to be a good month.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

wahoo two!

Another practice LSAT Games section tonight. Finished with 1:45 to spare, and I answered everything right.

The law school gods are telling me this means I need to write my personal statement.

evacuation

My best friend, who just started culinary school in south Louisiana, is evacuating.

She just moved into her new apartment this past weekend—her landlord needed an extra week or so to get it ready for her. She called bright and early yesterday morning to set up her renter's insurance and was told, "No. It's too late for you to get insurance."

Honestly, this sucks for her. I have no doubt that there are unscrupulous people who would forgo insurance until a natural disaster was impending. L., however, is legitimately in need of renter's insurance for the next two years. And she can't get it right now because of that damn hurricane.

So, think many happy thoughts for my friend L. and all of her furniture and clothing. She and her computer will be weathering in Baton Rouge.

Computers?

Over at Blawg Wisdom the request of the day was for laptop recommendations. And Nuts and Boalts had this response. I threw in a comment, wondering why people always advise other people against getting Macs.

Nuts responded:
Mac's have the windows platform available to them, so compatibility with respect to exams is not that much of an issue (especially since now you don't turn exams in on floppy's). Compatibility with the network is. I know of only one Ibook user and he's had a bit of trouble using the wireless connection. So far as I understand it, using the windows platform on Mac slows the computer down, which defeats the purpose of having a Mac in the first place. Factoring in cost, the lack of heavy graphics use during law school, I see no reason to purchase a mac given the PC alternative, unless as I said before you're just too accustomed to the Mac OS.

My first response to this response is: "IGNORANCE!!"

See, people who don't know anything about Macs assume that it must be the OS itself that causes problems when, in fact, it's usually user error—as in 99% of all other computer problems. But Mac OS X is supposed to be so simple to use, I think many people assume that when problems do occur, it must be that the operating system can't handle sophisticated usage.

So here's my slightly longer, more in-depth response:

First, about this mythical student who can't get on the wireless network because Virtual PC is too slow...well, the wireless network, for internet connectivity, should never require Windows. So if he's using Virtual PC to connect to the network, well, there's the major problem. A wireless network is a wireless network, and the operating system doesn't matter as long as you have a wireless card.

But perhaps the real issue is that this fellow can't print to network printers—that could, indeed, be a problem, particularly if the printers use protocols that are not Mac-friendly. This doesn't mean the Mac user can't print to a Windows network printer. He doesn't even need to go bother the IT department in most cases. Usually, if he downloads an open-source UNIX driver for these kinds of problems (gimp-print is one), he should be able to print to his heart's content.

I also think it's interesting that many people assume the only reason to get a Mac is because they're better with graphics. Don't forget, please, they're also more stable, less vulnerable to viruses, and, let's not forget, very snazzy looking.

I think the most important thing anyone looking to buy a laptop should consider is, "What are you comfortable with?" Sure, there are other, law-school-specific issues to consider. But if you've been using a Mac since your freshman year in college and like it, don't run out and buy a Windows machine just because the law school says they don't support Macs. They may not support them, but you shouldn't need much help anyway. As for the cost difference, laptops are all pretty expensive. A low-end, new, Windows laptop from a big-name company (Dell, IBM, etc.) is going to cost you as much as the same, low-end Mac laptop (the iBook). A high-end laptop from a big-name company will cost you as much, if not more, than the same, high-end Map laptop (PowerBook). Do the cost comparison, making sure you equalize all the components (optical drive, hard drive, RAM, sound card, ethernet card, USB and FireWire ports, etc.). I think you'll find that the Mac is competitive. (Where Macs aren't competitive is in the desktop arena, but most people who spend lots of money on the high-end Mac desktops are in graphics, video, sound or other industries where a Mac is more appropriate than a PC, so Macs don't have to be as competitive price-wise.)

Remember—a Mac can do anything a Windows machine can, and everything you might need in law school (except perhaps use platform-specific exam software). Buy what makes you happy and what you will be comfortable with.

more change

I've made the full switch over to Haloscan comments as well as trackbacks. Old comments are still available for viewing, but new posts won't have Blogger comments anymore.

I think making changes on my blog is a safe way to dramatically alter things about my life without actually having to change. All the impending change in my life has been making me nervous lately.

I say impending, but really, I've already had some big shifts this year. I got married, for one. Then my mother, who has been within an hour's drive for the last five years, moved several hundred miles and one time zone away. My best friend, who was also within an hour's drive, also moved several hundred miles away—in the other direction. Suddenly, my nice framework and support system got hugely shakier. I find myself calling my mom three times as often as I used to when she lived close, just because I know I can't hop in the car and drive on down. It's been rougher than I expected.

Along with these recent changes, we're both planning for graduate school and a move that will take us even farther away from here. The rest of my family is all here, or near here, so I'll be stretching that support system even thinner. We'll have no jobs, lots of debt, little security, and absolutely no idea what we're doing. All this change smells scary to me today. What on earth could we be thinking?

I know the answer—we're thinking that we need to do what is right for us. And some days, I am exhilarated by the thought of stepping out into the unknown. Other days, though—days like today—I'm petrified.

So I dabble with easy change, like blog change, or hair color change, or putting on a pair of earrings I haven't worn in two years. Because on a day like today, that's the only change I can handle.

Monday, September 13, 2004

is this legal?

Help me out here, fellow blawgers.

Moulton woman says she lost job for sporting Kerry sticker on car

Can an employer legally fire someone for having a political sticker on their personal vehicle? What about in states where employment is "at will"?

I'm a bad blogger...

...but this weekend was my birthday (YES, the whole weekend) so i took some time off from life.

Friday I went to happy hour AND I went out late with friends; Saturday I rode rollercoasters, ate fine food and drank fine wine at dinner, and then watched a very nervewracking college football game; Sunday, I fulfilled my choir obligations, watched TV, and finished a book. I did not: (1) study for the LSAT, (2) clean my house, or (3) feel guilty about my slacking off.

I've gotten several very nice cards and emails from family and friends, including one from my sister-in-law, who is a Harvard Law grad and a lawyer, which was full of LSAT encouragement. What a delightful birthday present—really! It was very thoughtful of her.

Note: One of my coworkers just brought me a lovely plant for my birthday—potted pink daisies. The coolest thing about this plant is that one of the flowers is conjoined! The stem itself is thicker than normal, and the flower has two centers that are sort of joined with petals springing out at weird angles. It's a Siamese flower! It's so weird it's terribly cool. I like it.

Update: Oh my gosh! It's not two joined flowerheads on a single stem, it's THREE. Wow!

Friday, September 10, 2004

Seriously funny

Thanks to Haas Bloggisms for this. Brightened my whole afternoon!

And yes, Haas, the list of schools on the right is the list of schools I'm applying to. I have to be in one of those cities, depending on where my husband gets into grad school. I think I have a fair shot at some of them, although some of the more notorious famous names are definitely "reach" schools.

also

LSAC has received my undergraduate transcript, but it has not processed it. This is unnerving and annoying.

law law law lah dee dah dee daw

LSAT study continues to go well. Which gives me ever-fewer excuses to not work on my personal statement.

Also, many people around my office know I am planning to apply to law school. My boss does not. In fact, he might be about the only person who doesn't. (OK, that's not true. The people that know are in positions lateral to mine. No one above us really knows.) I would kind of like an LOR from my boss, since he continually tells me how impressed he is by my work, and I'm pretty sure that his English Ph.D means it wouldn't be incoherent. But I haven't told him I am applying to law school.

What is the best way to approach this? I've only been here six or so months, after all—and I'd be telling him I'm planning to leave in less than a year. I'm not sure how he'll take it or whether it will affect the rest of my time here.

Update: BTW, I'm not concerned about being fired, for various reasons. I just don't want to cause animosity.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

dress for success

I have always been a firm believer that a dress code is a good thing.

I might be slightly biased—my high school had a rigidly strict dress code forbidding short, jeans, and skirts above the knee, to name a few items. My undergrad institution had a "dress tradition"—men in coat and tie, women in dresses or skirts. Nothing there was ever enforced, but I'd venture to guess that a small majority of students took the tradition into account when dressing in the morning. I know I rarely wore t-shirts or shorts to class (though I wore jeans fairly often); many men on campus wore khaki shorts with a button-down and tie. People tended to take care in their appearance. And that's a good thing. I've found that I concentrate better when I've had to make an effort to look nice in the morning.

I, too, am one of those people who think there are certain events EVERYONE should dress for—church, the theatre, appearances in court. Even in the workplace, make sure your clothes reflect the image you want them to. After all, consider this:
"That was the case for Erika Mangrum, owner of the Iatria Spa and Health Center in Raleigh, North Carolina. She recalls sending one employee home to change after she came to work wearing a cropped Playboy T-shirt that showed her stomach and a navel ring."

I have only one question for that employee: is this EVER acceptable?

Business and schools are implementing dress codes? Good for them. If schools are hiring teachers, and companies hiring employees, who are showing up in inappropriate attire, well, why were they hired in the first place? Teachers, realize that you are the adults students interact with the most. Dress accordingly. Employees, recognize that a sloppy or trashy look is not appealing to customers. Buy an iron and hide your tattoos. Take pride in your appearance.
This crap really infuriates me. I particularly like this bit:
Most research defines "binge drinking" as having five or more drinks in a row, without counting how far past five the drinkers go.

The Berkeley, California-based nonprofit health research institute found that many of the 1,000 male college drinkers surveyed said they had 24 or more drinks in a row.

"These are levels of drinking at which most men will have passed out or become comatose," said Paul Gruenewald, who led the study.

Well, sure, if someone consumes 24 drinks in a couple of hours, they will indeed be comatose. But the researchers didn't specify over what period of time these young men had these 24 drinks.

There are two glaring problems with this sort of news article. The first is that these reports are so vague that anyone who drinks could be considered a binge drinker. After all, binge drinking is defined as "five or more drinks in a row" So does this mean that, at a tailgate party that could last up to four hours, a young man who has a six-pack is a binge drinker? I guess that means my husband and my father are both binge drinkers, too, then, and most of our friends, and, oh yes, me. Or how about a group out at a nice restaurant for three or so hours, who have several bottles of wine. Those people must be binge drinkers as well.

So that's problem one—vague reporting that equates to fear-mongering.

Problem two: The attitude towards drinking taken by these researchers and/or reporters only serves to worsen the issue. Remember—alcohol in itself isn't bad. It's when it is abused that problems arise. More concretely, the heaviest drinkers I know often grew up in very strict households where alcohol was absolutely forbidden. What happens when you tell a kid they can't have something? They want it more. Turn that around, and the people I know with the healthiest attitudes about drinking were often exposed to it at an early age—by seeing their parents drink responsibily at meals and perhaps being given, for instance, a small glass of wine with dinner.

The fact is that college students drink. They are not going to stop drinking—the genie is way out of the bottle, no pun intended. So what is the solution? Make college students more responsible drinkers. And the way to do that is not to broadcast how dangerous binge drinking is, telling the world how awful it is. No, instead, we should provide college students opportunities to show that they can be responsible with alcohol in adult settings. My undergrad institution used to have a tradition of "Thursday Night Kegs"—students and faculty would join together on Thursday nights, in common campus areas, to socialize and have a few drinks. Liability issues forced the administration to ban kegs from campus. Since the ban, hard liquor use on campus has drastically risen, and more occurences of alcohol poisoning are reported every year.

See, when the students were placed in an adult context with other adults, socializing and drinking responsibly, everyone had a good time. No, that's not to say there were no problems—there are always problems. But the problems were fewer.

If we want college students to act like responsible, adult drinkers, we need to treat them like responsible adult drinkers. Treating them like children who are bound to get into trouble will only encourage them to test the waters.

voting Catholic

Morning Edition on NPR had a piece this morning about Catholics being given permission to vote for candidates who support abortion rights without the act of voting for that person being a grave sin.

Frankly, the Catholics I know who are worried about the various and sundry things their bishops "permit" them to do are not the ones who also want to vote for John Kerry. I was pleased to hear that a Catholic priest and theology professor at Notre Dame felt the same way.

Maybe I've been away from the Catholic Church for too long, but this morning it struck me how odd and alien the even theoretical structure of the church is (when it comes to those on the bottom rungs, the parishioners). The men and women who tithe their money to pay for programs and buildings and priests' salaries are supposed to also be subject to letters and memos from their bishops, archbishops, and cardinals, telling them what is the appropriate behavior in any number of situations.

So let's imagine a small group Catholics, sitting in their pews, agonizing over the upcoming election—they feel the war in Iraq is bad or badly run, they oppose the death penalty, they feel strongly about social justice and social programs. In other words, they dont' want to vote for GWB. But John Kerry supports abortion rights. To be "true" and "good" Catholics, they have to then vote against their consciences.

It's all moot anyway. The Catholics who are most concerned about what their bishop allows them to do and not to do are the same ones who believe that abortion is the greatest evil our nation is facing today—because that's what the Church has told them. I wish the Church would start looking at some other issues that are related and important—like the death penalty, which John Paul II opposes and our current president heartily endorses. Or human rights violations, or child abuse, or even the ever-increasing divorce rate. These are all social issues Catholics should have a strong opinion on. But the issue they focus the most on? Abortion.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Death to Floppy

How will the death of the floppy affect law students? From what I hear, lots of law schools still require exams to be turned in on a floppy disk.

In some ways it seems the legal profession is light years ahead of lots of other industries—in, for instance, their high use of the internet, email, and wireless (Blackberry) communication. In other ways they're just falling behind—and the biggest example of that is that so many law schools, where future lawyers are taught the tools of the trade if not the trade itself, are Luddite havens.

Kill the floppy!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

the power of positive thinking?

Now that my LSAT prowess has increased, my fear of the evil test has decreased. Following my big backtrack, I stopped thinking of anything related to law school admissions except the test. Study study study. Practice practice practice.

Now that my studying seems to be back on track, and my confidence is up, I think it's time to return to the dreaded personal statement.

I'm beginning to see the process of writing this little essay as a series of stages. Sort of like the grieving process. I've passed
through, first, the "explanation" stage: Oh, I know I've been out of school for a while, but here's why and here's what I hate about my life now and see how I want to change it?

Then there was the "description" stage: I'm a good writer and like research and oh, yeah, I love to argue and all of these things will make me a really excellent lawyer, don't you think?

Now, finally, I think I'm at a place where I can write something more honest and true. The fact is, there are many other careers I could consider, other educational opportunities I could pursue, other lifestyles I could focus on. Why am I choosing the law school path?

Because it's interesting to me, it will allow me to do things I enjoy (like write and research), I'm definitely qualified, and there's a chance—a pretty big one—that when I'm out, I'll actually be able to get a job related to my graduate education.

Sure, I could try for an MFA in writing, or go after an academic Ph.D. But I don't want to go into several years of schooling without any idea how likely I'll be to get a job in my field when I'm done. I don't want to run after three little letters just because of the prestige. Any letters after my name better make me more marketable.

I'm at a place in my life where stability is pretty important to me. That's not to say that running off to law school with a grad-student husband in tow is choosing stability; but when we're done with our educations, I don't want to have to keep moving around in search of research assistantships, grants, and the possibility of academic tenure. I want to know that, if I like the city we land in, I can probably stay there and get a job that uses my $100,000 degree.

I want it all, I admit. I want to live where I want to live, afford relatively nice things, have a happy, healthy family, and go to work every day to do things I am not only good at but that I also enjoy. I want it all, and I kind of want it on my terms. So, yeah, I have other options. But law and law school are the most attractive.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Things I did on Labor Day

  1. Forced myself to stay in bed until 10:30 am despite being awake by 9 am. It's a holiday, damn it!
  2. Made buttermilk pancakes and French press coffee.
  3. Attempted to froth milk in the KitchenAid with the whisk. This did not work. I really need one of these.
  4. Watched two episodes of What Not To Wear and two episodes of Law and Order.
  5. Remained perfectly still for half an hour when the electricity went out and the air conditioning subsequently stopped so that my body would not overheat.
  6. Reset all the clocks in the house after the power outage.
  7. Took a practice LSAT and scored one (1) point better than my previous high score and 5 (five) points higher than my last, disappointing performance.
  8. On that same LSAT, got 19 games questions right out of 24. Of the five that I missed, four were questions I didn't answer because I ran out of time. In other words, I only missed one question that I actually answered.

The day's not even over yet! Still to come: sautéd fillet of salmon, potatoes au gratin, and steamed broccoli with lemon butter. Possibly some laundry. Perhaps an after-dinner walk.

It's been a good holiday, and a good weekend.

UPDATE: No laundry, two more WNTW episodes, and a batch of banana bread in the oven. Oh, and no exercise. Hey—it's a holiday. I don't have to work out.

Friday, September 03, 2004

a bit more about me

LawMom just commented, wondering when I plan to start law school. And I realized I've never actually said!

The hope is that my husband and I will both be starting school in the Fall of 2005. The programs he's looking tend to have late admissions, so he could have started this year, but he's a good man and he's waiting for me.

My whole planning stage has been sort of compressed—I'm studying for the LSAT, working on my personal statement, and doing applications all at the same time. But I'm a good multi-tasker. I'm not afraid! I've been told squeezing the process into less than a year is foolish, but I'm not sure I could handle a year of planning just to apply. It's hard enough waiting a year to actually start. Patience is not one of my virtues, needless to say.

turning of the leaves

Scheherazade has a new post about the onset of fall.

I miss fall greatly. My undergrad institution was located in a place where September has a chilly bite in the morning and leaves actually change color. Many of my favorite memories are of walking alone through one of the many green areas on campus, meandering through the snow-weighted evergreens. Or bundling into fleece and wool for the three minute trek to the dining hall.

Here, the weather has been a tad unusual for September—it actually is chilly this morning, which thrills me. I know, though, that the chill will burn off quickly, leaving only a blazing sun behind. September is hot here, and always has been. The days are not truly cool until November, and the leaves do not turn colors; they just wither and drop from the trees. And while I love this city I live in and this state I am from, I miss fall deeply.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

woo-hoo!

I just took two timed Games sections. I finished each one -- the first with 35 seconds left, the second with four minutes left.

Out of a total of 48 questions, I missed FOUR.

I am the Games Goddess. Hear me kick ass on the LSAT.

really interesting

From this article in Slate:
Tonight confirmed what I suspected before the Democratic convention began: In violation of the normal rules of politics, this year's election is a referendum on the challenger rather than a referendum on the incumbent. There's a general sense that a change in presidents would be a good thing, but the country is taking that decision more seriously than it would in peacetime, and voters aren't certain, despite their disapproval of President Bush, that a President Kerry would be an improvement.

This is pretty much the best summation I've heard of this year's presidential race.

theory

I have a theory.

I've been reading this article in Salon.com about George Bush and his "missing years of service."

This isn't going to be a post about Bush and whether or not he served. No, the thing that really struck me about this article is the recounting of Bush's relationship at that time in his life with his parents. I think we've all heard or read some of these stories—how he challenged Bush Sr. to go "mano a mano" at one point, how he both idolized and resented his dad, and had a difficult relationship with his mother, who was known to humiliate him.

Personally, I don't care if the Bushes were the Cleavers or the Geins—the family is a political dynasty, so I'm sure some of these accounts are exaggerated, just as I'm sure there's some basis in fact for many of these rumors. And even the Bushes admit that, circa 1968-1970, their household wasn't exactly idyllic.

And this interests me. Because I have this feeling that an attraction to politics, like the attraction to certain other professions, is enhanced by famililial discord. No, not every great politician comes from an unhappy or discordant family. But, more often than not, domestic horror stories lurk in many politicians' backgrounds. Clinton is a great example—growing up poor in Arkansas, with a succession of imperfect father figures, he excelled (and excels) at presenting a "fatherly" warmth as a politician. He uses his background—in his case, what was missing—to enhance his appeal.

It's the same for actors, in a lot of ways. Many of the best actors have some strife in their background. Maybe it didn't come from their family life, but it came from somewhere. It's hard to be a good actor when you don't have those strong emotions to draw on. I'm not saying every good actor has to come from a broken home—certainly there are many talented men and women who just have the natural ability to perform without drawing from their past—but most (at least American) actors are trained to use their past as a basket of goodies from which to draw the necessary emotional memory for a part. [This is why I was always such a poor actor. My messed-up family history was counterbalanced by my mother's valiant efforts to help us overcome all the crap. I didn't have any crap left to draw on in my acting classes.]

So perhaps Bush is the successful politician he is (and believe me, Bush is a very canny man and a far sharper politician than many give him credit for) and perhaps he was drawn to politics for the same reason many other artists are drawn to their professions—the need for an outlet of some kind.

Is politics an art? Absolutely. And like much art, it is only made stronger by the emotional turmoil of the artist's past.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

oh good golly, gmail

Gmail has given me several more invites. Any takers?