--> divine angst: intentions

Monday, November 08, 2004


I started this blog as a personal exercise. I needed a place to hash out all the conflicting emotions I was having about my (then) suddenly burning desire to go to law school. For as long as I can remember, when I felt confused, I wrote about it. I have boxes of old journals from high school and earlier; I have archived electronic journals I kept in college. I have an old blog that I kept for a few months when blogging was brand new; I have another, personal blog, where I post longer bits, more personal bits, things that are not necessarily related to law school.

And see, that's where things start getting confusing. This blog was intended to be just about law school. I wanted a place where I'd post my thoughts and reactions to LSAT study, application hassles, rejections and acceptances, and my eventual decision-making process. But as it's grown and developed, this blog has become more personal, a place where I post not just my law school thoughts, but also my random musings, reactions to horoscopes, weekend adventures, and other experiences. I don't know that I like that. It's not that I dislike the disclosure of it all, although I am quite wary of broadcasting my identity on the internet. It just doesn't feel right somehow.

I have started sharing more and more—but I am ever-conscious of how thinly veiled my identity really is. So I censor myself rather readily to keep what anonymity I have. This doesn't feel good to me, but I almost can't help it! Jeremy says,
I also think there's a difference between an anonymous blog and a non-anonymous one. The anonymous ones, to me, are like people are hiding something to begin with -- that if it's found, people will assume it was anonymous for a reason.

I think there's a lot of validity to that. There are things I don't say because I am afraid of being "found out," as it were. I'm anonymous, but not anonymous enough.

Right now, I'm contemplating becoming completely un-anonymous. There seems to be some freedom in that. I'd curtail my personal commentary somewhat, but that might force me to restrict those kinds of writings to a more appropriate venue. I just don't know. I'd like some thoughts on it, though—anonymous bloggers, what benefit do you get from being anonymous? And those of you who are fully outed, as it were—do you restrict yourself because you are easier to find?