--> divine angst: sometimes i get ahead of myself

Thursday, August 05, 2004

sometimes i get ahead of myself

For instance, the whole discussion below about children in law school. After all, it's a bit premature to consider what will happen when I'm in law school when I am not yet accepted anywhere. I think where I get accepted will have as much influence on what decision is made on that front as my biological clock will. (Ref. the discussion of commuting issues. If either I or my husband has to commute a great distance because our campuses are not close, kids may not happen when I want them to.)

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how excited I am getting about the prospect of not only being in school, but also how excited I am that I discovered law. "Discovered"—like I made it up or something. What I mean is that in all of my searching for something that I 'd really enjoy as a profession, I can't help but wonder how I missed law all along.

One of my majors in college was religion, and probably my absolute favorite class was Philosophy of Religion. Now, this had at least something to do with my prof—we were all pretty sure he grew pot in his backyard, and he had a side business weaving shawls and throws and other pieces of fabric (lovely, actually). He used to sit in the lotus position on the table at the front of the classroom. He was a trip—and also completely brilliant, of course.

The real reason I loved that class, though, was because it was such a marvelous mental exercise. I never really enjoyed pure philosophy but, then, I never really had a good prof. Maybe I would have been a great philosopher. There's something sort of thrilling about reading something and then letting your mind take it on an imaginative tangent, searching for deeper meanings. This is also why I really enjoy Jewish parables—same deal. (I also really like the concept that, in Judaism, arguing with God is almost a mandate. That's the kind of God I can get behind.)

Anyway, the more I delve into "law" as a subject of study, as well as the process of law, the study of law, the writing of law, the more excited I get. And that's as clear a sign to me as any that this is the path for me. It's nice, after two years of experiencing a growing anomie, to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's also even more thrilling to realize it's not all that odd for me to be attracted to law—it actually makes a lot of sense. If only I'd known what the study of law was all about before my mid-to-late twenties.